The Oscar Nominations--Sight Unseen

As the Academy Award nominations were announced Thursday morning, we here at The Bludog Chronicle give ourselves a special pat on the back for having not seen any of the pictures being honored. But we do have a working knowledge of the films through the reviews we read. We're not snobs or anything. It's just that there's really no good reason to spend $10-12 bucks at the local superplex, spend more on a vat of popcorn drenched with butter of dubious quality, and sit with a bunch of idiots who'd be more at home at a football game. Why do that when you can wait a few months, rent the same movie for a couple of bucks, and watch it in the privacy of your own home?

Among the nominees for Best Picture that will soon be appearing at your favorite video outlet is The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, which had the most nominations with thirteen . It stars Brad Pitt (who was nominated for Best Actor) as a man who ages in reverse. Didn't the Academy reward a movie like this before? It was called Forrest Gump. (Pitt's significant-other, Angelina Jolie, got a Best Actress nomination for Changeling.)

S------ Millionaire got 10 nominations, including Best Picture. It's from India, cast with Indian actors, and bankrolled by British producers--also known as window dressing. We gave up on the American version of Who Wants To Be a Millionaire years ago, because contestants spent so damn much time agonizing over multiple-choice questions. Either you know the answer, or you don't.

The Dark Knight, the most over-hyped comic book movie in recent memory, got what it deserved--a shutout in the major categories, with the exception of Heath Ledger for Best Supporting Actor. Ledger, who died last year before the movie was released, is considered a sure bet to win. Two questions: (1) Would Ledger have been nominated if he had lived?, and (2) Was the role of a villain wearing clown makeup really the way Ledger would have gone out on?

Mickey Rourke was this once-famous actor (anyone here remember 9 1/2 Weeks?) who had fallen on hard times before someone gave him a shot at the big-time again. The result was The Wrestler, the story of a broken-down athlete not unlike Rourke himself (he had once quit the movies to pursue boxing). Since Hollywood loves a good comeback story, Rourke was rewarded with a Best Actor nomination.

Speaking of comebacks, Robert Downey, Jr. got a Best Supporting Actor nod for Tropic Thunder, in which he plays a white actor in blackface. In a week when Barack Obama became President of the United States, it's disconcerting to see Oscar honor someone who's channeling Al Jolson and the guys who played Amos 'n Andy on the radio.

If you want our predictions about who will take home the golden man (or whatever it is) February 22, we advise you to look elsewhere. We don't really care who wins, but we'll be watching the Awards Presentation on ABC alongside a dwindling number of folks. Besides, who's Hugh Jackman?

The major nominees:

Best Picture The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, Frost/Nixon, Milk, The Reader, S------- Millionaire.

Best Actor Richard Jenkins (The Visitor), Frank Langella (Frost/Nixon), Sean Penn (Milk), Brad Pitt (Benjamin Button), Mickey Rourke (The Wrestler).

Best Actress Anne Hathaway (Rachel Getting Married), Angelina Jolie (Changeling), Melissa Leo (Frozen River), Meryl Streep (Doubt), Kate Winslet (The Reader).

Best Supporting Actor Josh Brolin (Milk), Heath Ledger (The Dark Knight), Robert Downey, Jr. (Tropic Thunder), Philip Seymour Hoffman (Doubt), Michael Shannon (Revolutionary Road).

Best Supporting Actress Amy Adams (Doubt), Penelope Cruz (Vicky Cristina Barcelona), Viola Davis (Doubt), Taraji P. Henson (Benjamin Button), Marisa Tomei (The Wrestler).

Best Director Danny Boyle (S------ Millionaire), David Fincher (Benjamin Button), Ron Howard (Frost/Nixon), Stephen Daldry (The Reader), Gus Van Sant (Milk).