The 2000s: Goodbye and Good Riddance

The decade that no one thought of a catchy name for (although Time Magazine came close with "The Decade From Hell") is finally ending.

It had everything:  terrorist attacks, wars, a disputed presidential election, economic collapses, natural disasters of historic proportions, red and blue states . . . need we go on?

There were more villians than heroes to go around:  Osama bin Laden, George Bush, Dick Cheney, Karl Rove, Bernie Madoff, Jack Abramoff, Kenneth Lay, Jeffrey Skilling, etc.

It wasn't all gloom and doom, of course.  One of the saving graces of the decade was the election of 2008, where one woman ran for president, another was chosen to be a vice-presidential running mate, and an African-American man won a term in the White House.

New advancements in technology gave us the iPod, smaller cell phones, My Space, You Tube, Facebook, Twitter, Kindle and GPS systems.  Unfortunately, they also gave us hackers who steal your identity, screw up commerce, and endanger national security.

On TV, reality was all over the place, from "Survivor" and "American Idol" to "The Real World" and "Jon and Kate Plus Eight".  Dramas such as "CSI: Crime Scene Investigation" and its spinoffs, "Gilmore Girls", "Desperate Housewives", "The Sopranos", "Mad Men" and "Rescue Me" distinguished themselves.  Comedy had a hard time getting on track after the 9/11 attacks, and is still struggling today.

The movies became more about franchises and special effects than about stars and character development.  The "Lord of the Rings" trilogy, "Harry Potter", "Spider-Man", "Avatar" and "The Dark Knight" all ruled at the box office.  So did chick flicks, disaster movies, and films about grown men still in a state of adolescense.

Music had no real catalyst of change a la The Beatles and Elvis Presley, except in the way it was distributed.  Thanks to the mp3 player, you no longer have to settle for an $18 CD with only three good songs on it.  Now you go online and pay a buck a song.  Unless, that is, you're a fan of Garth Brooks, Led Zeppelin or Bob Seger, who have kept their music offline.

On the performance side, the decade pretty much began and ended with boy bands, rap and Britney Spears ruling the charts.  Beyond that, Alicia Keys, Beyonce, Carrie Underwood, Kelly Clarkson, Kanye West and Eminem--among others--had their moments in the sun.

In sports, baseball was in crisis as accusations of players using performance enhancing drugs resulted in home run records getting asterisks.  The Boston Red Sox and Chicago White Sox finally win World Series titles.  The NHL canceled a whole season due to a labor dispute.  The NFL split its mini-dynasties between New England and Pittsburgh.  The NBA created new stars in Kobe Bryant and LeBron James after Michael Jordan retired.  Michael Phelps swam his way to glory at the Beijing Olympics, but Marion Jones' drug use cost her the track medals she won in Sydney.  And Tiger Woods dominated the world of golf . . . when he was on the course, that is.

Journalism made news of its own, most of it bad.  As publications either went bankrupt or shut down, those left behind moved on to online ventures and PR work.  Network TV news is no longer a boys' club, now that women are anchoring two of the three evening broadcasts.  Cable news, being the 24/7 operation that it is, trumps up every small time story and injects its own political commentary.

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In Minnesota, the biggest story of the decade was the collapse in 2007 of the 35W bridge in Minneapolis, which killed 13 people.  In politics, the decade could best be explained by following the saga of Norm Coleman.

• At the beginning of the decade, Jesse Ventura was governor.  The former pro wrestler defeated Coleman in 1998.  By 2002, serious times had rendered Ventura's act moot, so he didn't run for another term.  And that's how we got Tim Pawlenty.
• In '02, Coleman ran against incumbent Paul Wellstone for the U.S. Senate.  Wellstone died in a plane crash days before the election, so former Vice-President Walter Mondale was brought in as an emergency replacement.  Coleman defeated Mondale.
• In 2008, Coleman ran for re-election against "Saturday Night Live" satirist Al Franken.  Eight months into 2009 and several recounts later, Franken was declared the winner.

The Twins came back from the brink of contraction, won a couple of division titles, and traded in the Metrodome for a new outdoor ball park.  The Vikings had two different owners, survived the "Love Boat" scandal, and lured Brett Favre out of retirement.  The NHL returned to Minnesota in the form of the Wild, playing to sellout crowds in St. Paul and endearing themselves to the "State of Hockey".  The Timberwolves with Kevin Garnett made it as far as the NBA Western Conference finals.  After Garnett was traded to Boston (where he won a championship), the Wolves sank back to the obscurity from whence they came.

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As we move into the second decade of the 21st century, one hopes that things could only get better.  We've already had worse.

2009: Teachable Moments

So class, what have we learned from 2009?

The sins of the George W. Bush administration have been passed along to President Barack Obama, who campaigned on the promise of hope and change.  Today there isn't much hope, and the more things change, the more things remain the same.

There is still war in Iraq and Afghanistan, and probably will be for the foreseeable future.

The recession isn't over if people can't find jobs, and are skittish about spending even if they're employed.

Christmas Day almost became 12/25 had a suspected terrorist been successful in blowing up an airliner bound for Detroit.

Bipartisanship is a thing of the past.

General Motors is now Government Motors.

Scandals, sexual and otherwise, continue to plague politicians, celebrities and athletes.  And the sun rises in the East.

Making yourself rich on other people's money is proof that greed is still good--unless you get caught.  Just ask Bernie Madoff and Tom Petters.

Conservative talk show hosts are capable of setting the agenda for a major political party.

Minnesotans went six months without a second U.S. Senator before Al Franken was finally declared the winner over Norm Coleman.

Governor Tim Pawlenty, when he wasn't running for President, acted like King of Minnesota when he swung the budget axe without any help from the Legislature.

Meanwhile, Jesse Ventura has a new TV show about conspiracy theories.

Thanks to Sonia Sotomayor, the Supreme Court looks more like America with each passing year.

Until his death, the most trusted man in America was Walter Cronkite.  Now it's Jon Stewart.

Anyone can be a star on reality TV, whether they deserve it or not (Susan Boyle, the Kardashian family, Jon and Kate Gosselin).  And then there are the publicity seekers (Adam Lambert, "Octomom", the Solahis, and the parents of "Balloon Boy").

There really are limits to Facebook and Twitter.

Newspapers are an endangered species.

Not even a self-absorbed rap star can take away Taylor Swift's brilliant year.

The death of Michael Jackson meant that the world lost a pop icon, and the tabloids lost a meal ticket.

The death of Ted Kennedy meant that liberals lost their champion in the Senate, and the tabloids are running out of Kennedys to exploit.

Had a self-promoting blogger not asked a question about same-sex marriage at a nationally-televised beauty pageant, the world would never have heard of Carrie Prejean.

Only Sarah Palin can quit her day job, which was being Governor of Alaska, then use her book tour to convince folks that she can be a viable candidate for President.

Only Michele Bachmann can make outrageous claims about her vision for America, yet keep her congressional seat.

Vampire movies and TV shows aimed at teenage girls still suck . . . profits.

Will the real Lady Gaga (or is it Gag Gag?) please stand up?

Lou Dobbs needs to check his birth certificate.

Jay Leno does not belong in prime time.

The NFL gives second chances to anyone who can play football.  Even Michael Vick.

For Alex Rodriguez, who had been accused of steroid use, winning the World Series with the Yankees was the best deodorant.

Speaking of John Madden, he can stay home and watch football for a change.

The Twins improbably win another division title.  Brett Favre dons a purple Numner 4 and leads the Vikings to a division title.  The Wild and Timberwolves are starting over with new coaches and players.  And the Gopher football team has a new home, but are still playing in the same third-rate bowl game with a mediocre record.

2010 has got to be better than this.

Class dismissed.

Proposed Health Care Cure Worse Than the Disease?

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The United States Senate is on its way to approving its version of health care reform, just in time for the holidays.  How they got to this point has been a textbook example of why people consider politicians to be among the lowest forms of life on Earth.

The bill is the result of listening to too many yahoos at town hall meetings who shout "Get your government hands off my Medicare!", and too much influence from health insurance lobbyists, instead of benefitting the "American People" they claim to represent.  Even liberals have lashed out at President Barack Obama for selling out to the bad guys for the sake of accomplishing his foremost campaign promise.

In order to get to the 60 votes Democrats believe they need to pass the bill--without any Republican help whatsoever--they had to sweet-talk certain Senators (namely Ben Nelson of Nebraska, Mary Landrieu of Louisiana, and independent Joe Lieberman of Conneticut) into going their way in exchange for giving them what they want.  That's par for the course in politics, but it sounds kind of underhanded outside the Beltway.

After the holidays, the House and Senate leaders will get together to work on a final bill.  Among the highlights:

• It would require everyone to get health insurance, whether they can afford it or not.
• The House has the government-run public option, while the Senate version does not.
• People 55 and over won't be added to the Medicare rolls.
• Women who have abortions would purchase a separate policy that isn't paid for by the government.
• Nobody would be turned down due to pre-existing conditions.

Neither bill will do anything to stem the tide of rising health care costs, at a time when people would rather do without insurance than pay high premiums.  The only real winner in all of this is the health care industry themselves, who will continue to make money no matter what happens.  ABC News reported on Tuesday that health care stocks were soaring on Wall Street.

But then, this should come as no surprise, having watched congressional Democrats shrink like violets for most of this decade.  When they were swept into office along with Obama in 2008 on the promise of change, we figured they would somehow find a way to blow their mandate.  Meanwhile, the Republicans' new symbol became a slashed circle, rejecting every idea the Democrats put up while offering the same tired rhetoric that put them in the minority position to begin with.

Most of the reforms, if passed, would not become law until 2013 or '14, so there will be plenty of opportunities for the health care industry to figure out ways around the new legislation and how to profit from them.  Also, who knows what the economy will be like by then?

Oh, and have a happy holiday season.

News and Notes From Media World

1. The domino effect of Charles Gibson leaving the "World News" anchor chair at ABC News is still being felt.  George Stephanopolous, who in a previous life had been an advisor to President Bill Clinton, has just begun work as the new co-host of "Good Morning America".  He replaces Diane Sawyer, who on Monday is taking over the evening newscast from Gibson.  Oh, Stephanopolous will still be able to talk to Washington movers and shakers much like he did on "This Week" (a Sunday morning broadcast he'll probably give up), but he'll also have to have the ability to get along with co-host Robin Roberts, hang out with celebrities, and learn how to cook a souffle.  Most importantly, he'll be asked to keep "GMA" a solid second behind NBC's "Today" in the morning news wars.
2. Tom Barnard is staying at KQRS (92.5 FM) radio to make more sex jokes, and to prove to the world he's still smarter than Terri Traen.  He originally said that he'd give up the "KQ Morning Show" in 2012, days before the purported Mayan Apocalypse is supposed to take place.  Well, maybe he's seen the movie or had nightmares about Sarah Palin being elected President, but he's apparently decided to hang in there until they kick him out.  That could very well happen if Barnard and company offends another minority group.
3. In a related development, the Huffington Post reports that Citadel Broadcasting (KQRS' owners) is about to file for Chapter 11 bankruptcy.
4. Amid the hoopla that follows anyone who has ever worked for WCCO-AM, Don Shelby recently concluded nine years of moonlighting as an afternoon talk show host.  His real job, anchoring the 10 p.m. news for WCCO-TV, is safe for at least another year.  To say that station officials might have been pushing Shelby out the door is putting it mildly.  His drive time slot was taken over by Michele Tafoya, who still takes a day off to cover "Monday Night Football" for ESPN.  Now Shelby's early afternoon position is up for grabs, with radio veterans Chad Hartman (Sid's kid) and John Hines the front runners.  May we suggest Kevyn Burger, who has a news background and was recently axed by WFMP (107.1 FM) when their talk programming changed direction?  Unless, of course, WCCO management doesn't want too much of a gender balance during the daytime.

Should Tiger Woods Retire?

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As the number of women who claim they have had some kind of relationship with golfer Tiger Woods increases (double digits is what we're hearing), as well as the number of sponsors that are dropping him (two so far), the previously untouchable golfing icon announced on his website that he's putting away his clubs for awhile to work on his marriage.

Some have speculated that Woods' self-imposed break will last until March or April, because that's when he usually prepares himself for the Masters, which is the first of golf's majors.  It's possible that the break could be longer than anyone thought, to the point where he might retire from competition.

In his mid-30s, Woods has won everything there is to win in golf, and then some.  He's worth a billion dollars , which comes from his tournament victories and endorsement deals.  He doesn't need golf so much as golf needs him.

If the past few weeks have proven anything, it's that Tiger Woods is getting a reality check:  There are more important things in life than birdies and bogeys.  He has a wife and two young children, an estate in Florida, and a yacht named "Privacy", among other things.  He realizes now that his alleged dalliances with other women are bringing him to the brink of being just another divorced dad, forced to earn his paychecks so he could pay court-ordered alimony and child support.  (Of course, the average divorced dad doesn't have Tiger's earning power.)

The game of golf has been around for centuries, and will almost certainly survive without Woods.  There will be a lot less prize money put up by corporations willing to put their names on tournaments.  There are plenty of talented golfers currently on the PGA Tour, though collectively their star power couldn't match Tiger's.  TV networks will cede weekend coverage of most tournaments to the Golf Channel as viewers find something else to do.

Seeing a once-in-a-lifetime athlete retire in the prime of his career would be disappointing, of course.  We're not psychologists, but it sounds like he needs to get his life in order.  If he can pull that off, it would be a bigger victory for him than any tournament.

The End of the "World" As We Know It

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CBS announced it is canceling "As The World Turns", which has been on the air since 1956, for much of the same reasons why they got rid of "Guiding Light":  changing times, declining ratings, etc.  The network now has nine months to come up with a replacement, probably another game show.

ATWT was the daytime drama that pretty much everyone watched in its first few decades on the air.  Your parents, grandparents and great-grandparents probably watched it (and maybe still do).  Kids on their days home from school found it an educational experience, learning new phrases such as "under the circumstances", and maybe a little more about human behavior than they should have.

This is where Meg Ryan, Dana Delany, James Earl Jones, Julianne Moore, Marisa Tomei and so many others got their start before moving on to the big time.  Others, such as Eileen Fulton, Don Hastings and Colleen Zenk Pinter, have remained with the show for decades.

This is the show that got interrupted on November 22, 1963 by news bulletins of President John F. Kennedy's assassination.  It would be days before there was another network entertainment broadcast.

Procter and Gamble, which produces ATWT, practically invented the term "soap opera" when they started sponsoring daytime dramas on radio in the 1930s as a way to sell its soap bars and detergents to women.

After ATWT goes in September 2010, the oldest soap on TV will become "General Hospital", which has been on ABC since 1963.  That's long before Luke and Laura, folks.

I usually avoid soaps like the plague because I had better things to do.  But I won't forget the spinning globe and the haunting theme music (a combination of organ and piano) that was part of the credits when I was one of those kids getting their education from TV away from school.  It's not the end of the world, but for soap opera fans it might as well be.

Tom Petters and Denny Hecker: Why We Have a Recession

The government tells us that the recession is over, and that we are witnessing a slow recovery.  Well, it's more like a depression for the millions that are still out of work, and struggling to pay the bills.  They need someone or something to blame their troubles on.  So who fits the bill?  President George W. Bush during his last months in office?  Corporations that had been living the high life, or were too bloated to realize a big fall was coming?  Jobs shipped overseas and never coming back?

Minnesotans only need two scapegoats:  Tom Petters and Denny Hecker.  Both were well-known businessmen with multi-billion dollar companies, whose worlds came crashing down when they got caught with their hands in the cookie jar.

Petters, whose empire included Polaroid, Fingerhut and Sun Country Airlines, was recently convicted by a federal jury of operating a $3.5 billion Ponzi scheme.  The counts for which he was found guilty (20 in all) included wire and mail fraud, conspiracy and money laundering.  He could be sentenced to life in prison.

Hecker declared bankruptcy last June, claiming he owed $767 million with only $18.5 million in personal assets.  He had to sell or shut down his numerous auto dealerships and a rental car chain.  Auctions have been held, putting on display for the highest bidder the excesses of Hecker's life.  And we got to know how much it'll take (financially) to keep his wife and alleged mistress happy, more than we ever needed to know.

Hecker could also be charged in Federal court (according to startribune.com) for allegedly forging documents to secure a $65 million loan from a division of Chrysler, which would have brought nearly 5000 cars of a competing brand to one of his dealerships. 

The common denomiators between Petters and Hecker are that (A) both were worth a lot of money, (B) employed thousands of people, and (C) attracted investors who believed in them so much that they were willing to part with their life savings.  When all of that goes away and the Feds come calling, those who got burned tend to demand answers.  Well, they might be getting answers, but they'll never get their money back.

We may be reveling in the misfortune of people like Petters and Hecker right now.  But that's not going to pay the bills or to get yourself a new career.  The lesson here is not to put your trust in those who promise you the moon and the stars, or else you'll end up with desert swampland.

Comcast Plucks The Peacock Network

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The National Broadcasting Company (NBC) began as a radio network in the 1920s, pioneered television in the 30s and 40s, and in recent years jumped into cable and the Internet.  Now, with its parent company being purchased by a major cable and broadband operator, NBC is evolving again.  Perhaps out of existence.

General Electric has agreed to sell 51% of NBC Universal to Comcast, which would eventually give it control of the company.  The deal includes a broadcast TV network, several cable channels (both NBC's and Comcast's), theme parks and a movie studio.

Before the merger can be completed, the federal government has to give its OK.  Because Comcast would become the most powerful force in the world of communications, they might be asked to (among other things) choose whether or not they could own NBC stations in the same cities where they also have cable systems.  We think they'd rather give up the stations because the broadcast TV business has become a loser in recent years.

NBC brought this on themselves.  Their prime time fortunes have plummeted to the point where they are now last among the Big Four broadcast networks (only CBS is doing well).  The decision to replace dramas in the last hour of prime time with five nights of Jay Leno has so far been a bust, with ratings so bad that the local news that follows is taking a major hit in its numbers.  GE's bean counters must not have been pleased.

What does Comcast bring to the proverbial table?  As a former subscriber, I can tell you that they have moved channels from the basic cable package over to its more expensive digital tier, then not bothering to replace them.  Some of us don't want (or can't afford) high-def TV sets, you know.

Even if you switch to satellite service, Comcast comes back to bite you.  If you have DirecTV and you're a hockey fan, you've probably noticed that Comcast-owned Versus--the National Hockey League's main TV partner--is no longer part of the sports package due to a contract dispute.  Imagine what would happen if they tried to take away NBC, especially around the 2012 London Olympic games they're scheduled to televise.

Some people are concerned that Comcast, with its politically conservative ownership, might try to influence the journalistic balance of NBC News, MSNBC and CNBC.  Not to worry, we're told.  Comcast will leave things be, so Brian Williams, Keith Olbermann and Rachel Maddow can keep their jobs.  For now.

They say the future of television is going to be on the Internet, and with Comcast leading the way, they're going to make darn sure they're going to be a major part of it.  Like forcing people to become Comcast subscribers so they could access certain websites for content they once watched for free.

That's why consumer groups are manning the battle stations to defeat the merger.  They won't get that, but they will eventually wind up with a leaner company that sold some of its assets to appease the government and its critics.  Which will lead to other media and broadband companies pairing up, and your bills being jacked up.

Welcome to the future.

Tiger Woods Goes Off Course

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Tiger Woods has been the most dominant man on the golf course this decade, on a pace to win more tournaments than Jack Nicklaus ever did.  Outside the links, he has cultivated an image of a man who is worth millions of dollars in endorsements with a beautiful wife and two children.  And that's all he wants you to know.

Then on Thanksgiving weekend, it all blew up in his face like a quadruple bogey on the 72nd hole at Augusta with a two shot lead.  Woods crashed his SUV into a fire hydrant at his home in Florida at 2:30 a.m., with wife Elin taking shots at the windshield with one of his clubs.  Then he said nothing about it to the police, leaving people to wonder what really happened.  Because of the injuries he suffered in the crash, Woods took himself out of a tournament he's hosting this weekend.

Reports surfaced in the tabloid media that Woods had allegedly been seeing other women.  One of them sent a magazine a recording of a message she said she got on her phone with Woods' voice on it.

Then Woods apologized on his website for the accident and for his "transgressions", branded the reports of unfaithfulness as untrue and pleaded for privacy.  It was the kind of apology that wasn't really an apology, as if his lawyers and publicists had written it.

I appreciate Woods' desire to keep the world at arm's length.  How many of us would admit to failings in our lives without being forced to do so?  The thing is, Woods became a public figure the moment he was old enough to hit a golf ball on TV in front of Mike Douglas and Bob Hope.

Most of Woods' fine sponsors are standing by him during this crisis, as are his fellow competitors on the PGA Tour.  Why not?  He's their bread and butter, the man who got the game of golf out of genteel obscurity and into the mainstream.  TV ratings soar when he's in contention at tournaments he chooses to play in.  The products he sells have become identified with him, and vice versa.

What Tiger Woods needs to do is to first give an honest explanation of what really happened on the morning in question, then try to work things out with his wife in the manner he knows best--behind closed doors.  Then, the moment he wins another major championship, he'd better hope people will have short memories about his act of stupidity. 

Deja Vu All Over Again in Afghanistan

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Eight years after the United States invaded Afghanistan, you can no longer blame the conflict there solely on George W. Bush, who as President was trying to rid the world of scoundrels on his own (and Vice President Dick Cheney's) terms.  It is now President Barack Obama's war as well, having announced to a captive audience of cadets at West Point serving as backdrop for a national television audience that he's sending 30,000 more soldiers into harm's way.

Since taking office, Obama has tripled the number of military personnel being sent to Afghanistan to fight off a resurgent Taliban.  The number, according to Associated Press (via MSNBC.com), stands at around 71,000.  There have been 924 killed since the war began, and 4,434 wounded.

The President does have an exit strategy, sort of.  Beginning in July 2011, the U.S. hopes to have enough of a viable Afghan army to enable them to leave.  But it could be a long,slow process that might be extended into Obama's second term, should he be re-elected.  Then again, there's no guarantee that the troop surge would actually work, which might result in more soldiers being sent there.

It sounds as if the President drank the Kool-Aid, relying on his generals to give him reasons why he should keep the war going.  In his speech (which could easily have been Bush talking), he sounded the alarm about avenging the terrorist attacks of  9/11/01 by fighting the Taliban as a way to get at al-Qaeda and Osama bin Laden.  Except that al-Qaeda and bin Laden are currently ensconced in the mountains of Pakistan.  And Pakistan is supposed to be an ally, so a military invasion is out of the question.  Besides, the U.S. also has to prop up the scandal-plagued government of Afghan President Hamid Karzai.

Unlike in 2001, when people were too scared to say anything negative about Bush after 9/11, they're a lot more skeptical about Obama's handling of the war now.  According to a Gallup poll (AP via MSNBC.com), the President's disapproval rating on this issue is 55%, compared to 35% in his favor.  What might be behind those numbers is that people aren't seeing positive results on the battlefield, and that the U.S. might be fighting the wrong enemy.

The President also has to convince his fellow Democrats in Congress to support the troop increase.  But they might not be so willing to pony up the $30 billion to fund a conflict which has increasingly become irrelevant.

With so many things that need fixing--health care reform, getting people back to work, taming the deficit--it would be a real tragedy if Barack Obama's presidency ended up being compared to another president who had lofty ambitions, but got bogged down in an unpopular war.  His name was Lyndon Johnson.