2007: The Laundry List

As 2007 reaches the end of the road, let's take a glance back at our collective rear view mirror before going down that new stretch of road marked 2008 (in that new hybrid, of course). Watch for falling bridges, however.

This was the year . . .

• American soldiers continued to die in Iraq, though the troop "surge" President Bush's lackey General David Petraeus championed resulted in fewer casualties, if not more peace.
• The War on Terror took a nasty turn, with the turmoil in crucial U.S. ally Pakistan reaching new depths with the assassination of former Prime Minister Benazir Bhutto.
• People were horrified to discover that the Democratic majority in Congress they voted for turned out to be as spineless as conservative talk-show blowhards had claimed, bowing down to a supposedly lame-duck president.
• Karl Rove, Tony Snow and Alberto Gonzales (among others) left their jobs as White House apologists.
• The CIA destroys videotapes of torturing suspected terrorists for fear of identifying agents, while having no problem wrecking Valerie Plame's career. Meanwhile, designated fall guy "Scooter" Libby sat in prison for awhile before being released.
• Plans for a war with Iran had to be postponed for lack of evidence that they had a nuclear weapons program.
• Virginia Tech, a school in Cleveland and a mall in Omaha became the next Columbines.
• Thanks to an Idaho senator using a Twin Cities airport men's room, we found out more about "wide stances" that we ever wanted to know.
• Al Gore won an Oscar and a Nobel Peace Prize.
• It was possible for an animated snowman to ask questions at a presidential debate.
• O.J. Simpson returned to the courtroom, and his book was actually published.
• Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan and Nicole Richie went to jail, if only for a few minutes.
• Britney Spears made a spectacle of herself. Now her pregnant 16-year old sister is following in her footsteps.
• Kids still read books, even if it was Harry Potter.
• Striking writers threatened to kill the TV season.
• Amy Winehouse could only stay out of rehab for so long.
• Parents broke the bank so their daughters could watch Miley Cyrus sang as both herself and as her TV character Hannah Montana in concert.
• Notre Dame football was no longer must-see TV.
• Boston became the new city of champions, sometimes at Minnesota's expense.
• David Beckham was seen as the second coming of soccer in America. Uh, no. But his wife's old group, the Spice Girls, reunited.
• Players on a men's lacrosse team and a women's basketball team had their lives ruined by false accusations.
• Barry Bonds answered the question: What if somebody broke a cherished sports record and nobody (outside of San Francisco) cheered?
• New Gophers football coach Tim Brewster made people nostalgic for the glory days of Glen Mason and Music City Bowl appearances.
• Kevin Garnett was the difference between a Timberwolves team worth watching and one that wasn't.
• The NHL's TV ratings spike when a violent incident makes the evening news.
• Michelle Wie decide to quit playing in men's tournaments.
• A major newspaper was bought by an investment group, which then proceeded to fire most of its staff, hired an executive who stole secrets from the competitor he was leaving, and shortchanged its readers in news coverage.
• Cable providers could claim that they offer every sport there is, except for the games people really wanted to see.
• Norman Mailer, Kurt Waldheim, Anna Nicole Smith, Merv Griffin, Evel Knievel, Jerry Falwell, Luciano Pavarotti, Tammy Faye Bakker-Messner, Art Buchwald, Kurt Vonnegut, Joey Bishop, David Halberstam, Molly Ivins, Boris Yeltsin, Bowie Kuhn, Ingmar Bergman, Bill Walsh, Eddie Robinson, Phil Rizzuto, Don Chevrier and Gump Worsley died.

Now let's see where 2008 takes us. Happy New Year.

The 35W Bridge: Building a Mystery*

As the snow falls on another Minnesota winter, construction continues on the new 35W Bridge in Minneapolis, replacing the one that fell down on August 1, killing 13 people and injuring many more. It'll be ready by this time next year, so we're told. That's remarkably speedy for this kind of a project.

What we still don't know is . . . Well, there are a lot of things we don't know, for one reason or another:

• Why the construction outfit chosen to rebuild the bridge is from Colorado. Is it because they came cheap, or because someone thought they could do a better job?
• Why there are two separate investigations looking into the collapse: One by a law firm hand picked by Minnesota Governor Tim Pawlenty working with the National Transportation Safety Board, the other an outside firm chosen by the state Legislature. Expect sanitized results by the time the Republican convention comes to St. Paul next September.
• Why the Governor and Legislature chose to use its special session to fund victims of the floods that hit southeastern Minnesota (some of whom are still waiting for their money) instead of approving stipends for bridge collapse victims.
• Why Lieutenant Governor Carol Molnau is allowed to continue moonlighting as state Transportation Secretary.
• Why Sophia Morphew Pitt, director of emergency management for MnDOT, stayed on the East Coast for days after the bridge collapse.
• Why Rich Stanek, Hennepin County sheriff, thought it was a good idea to appear in a $30,000 training video about the bridge collapse intended for so-called "first responders" that seemed to be all about himself.
• Why WCCO-TV news anchor Don Shelby agreed to narrate the video in the first place, claiming he wasn't paid for it. It makes Mr. Objective Journalist look like a major suck-up.
• Why Governor Pawlenty continues to oppose transportation bills aimed at improving not only the new bridge, but other roads and bridges in dire need of repair. Is he that beholden to the Minnesota I-Don't-Wanna-Pay-My-Taxes League, which helped get him elected in the first place?
• Why the federal government is stalling on funding. Oh wait. That's no mystery. President Bush wanted (and got) more money from a spineless Congress to continue paying for his wars in Iraq, Afghanistan, and on the American people.
• Why, with all the missed warning signs and government officials doing a heckuva job, is the 35w bridge collapse a depressing reminder of Hurricane Katrina's aftermath.
• Why we continue to tolerate this.

*Apologies to Sarah McLachlan.

Politics '08--Holiday Edition

We are two weeks away from the caucuses in Iowa and the primaries in New Hampshire. How are the presidential candidates holding up? First, the Democrats:

Barack Obama--Leading in Iowa, even though we just watched an NBC News report (see MSNBC's website) implying that he's kind of wishy-washy when it comes to the issues and his past voting record. It says a lot about Obama's campaign when OPRAH WINFREY threatens to overwhelm it, making him look like Steadman's younger brother by comparison.

Hillary Clinton--Leads Democrats overall, but is no longer as invincible as she seemed a few weeks ago. She needs to be less of a Robo-candidate and more like a human being who just happens to be running for President. Oh, and keeping her husband in line might help, too.

John Edwards--He's in third place at the moment, and his numbers are improving. But is is already too late to buck the Obama-Clinton logjam?

Now, the Republicans:

Mike Huckabee--The new leader in Iowa, trading on his aw-shucks personality. But what will probably do him in is that he's a holy roller who disses President Bush, and you just can't do that in the GOP.

Rudy Giuliani--He was hospitalized in St. Louis for flu-like symptoms, then released. But the secretive way this matter was handled by his campaign raises questions about whether the country needs another stonewalling President. Giuliani's poll numbers have also taken a turn for the worse. Once the runaway leader, he is now tied with Mitt Romney at 20 percent, according to the NBC News-Wall Street Journal poll.

John McCain--He's picked up endorsements from the Des Moines Register and the Boston Globe, as well as one from alleged Democrat Joe Lieberman. The lull in the fighting in Iraq is helping McCain's cause at the moment.

Fred Thompson--Is he still in the race? Arthur Branch lasted longer than this.

One more thing: We saw an ad for Fox News Channel in the trade magazine Broadcasting and Cable comparing their debate coverage with CNN's. In it, they placed quotes from major publications citing CNN for the poor job they did, alongside glowing blurbs for the hard-hitting questions Fox News asked the candidates, Admittedly, CNN's coverage was sloppy, but at least they're bipartisan. You can't do a "fair and balanced" comparison when the Democratic candidates refused to debate on Fox News.

Late Night Without a Net (Or a Clue)

The Writers Guild of America has been walking the picket lines for six weeks now in their stalemate with TV networks and movie studios over how much they want to get paid in that new media world of the future. In the here and now, those in the rank and file who work in late night TV are starting to chafe.

Jay Leno, Conan O'Brien and Jimmy Kimmel are all returning to the air January 2 minus their writing staffs, citing the need to get all of those poor people who would have been on the unemployment lines if the talk show hosts hadn't been supporting them out of their own pockets back to work.

David Letterman wants to go back to work too, so he's negotiating with the WGA as an independent producer to secure the use of his writing staff for "Late Show" and the Craig Ferguson program that follows on CBS. If the WGA agrees to this, are they shooting themselves in the foot?

When the talk shows do go back on the air, what Hollywood stars plugging their latest project would dare cross the picket lines? Will the networks have their collective hands on the button when the hosts take shots at them in support of the writers?

Elsewhere, Entertainment Weekly's website reports that the WGA has declined a request by Dick Clark Productions and the people responsible for the Golden Globes for a waiver to use writers for the awards telecast. So anyone tuning in NBC that night can expect to see not only empty chairs and lame, improvised banter, but also presenters forced to tell viewers that "So and so could not be here tonight, so we'll accept this award on their behalf".

It's also possible that, the longer the strike goes, the same thing might happen to the Academy Awards. And unless Jon Stewart likes to improvise, he might not be hosting the Oscars.

As we prepare for a TV schedule made up of American Idol, Big Brother 9, The Biggest Loser and Supernanny, we have a question for you: Have you done your holiday shopping yet? Now might be a good time to stock up on DVDs of TV shows and movies you may have missed. Do we really need to tell you why?

Not Another Diablo Cody Article

Minnesotans, particularly the ones in the local media, have an obsession with claiming anyone who has made a name on the world stage, whether that person was born here or spent a few minutes here. Bob Dylan, Garrison Keillor and Walter Mondale are examples of those who grew up here before becoming famous. Hubert Humphrey, Kevin Garnett and Mary Tyler Moore were born somewhere else, but made their names here.

These days, it's all about Diablo Cody, who has just picked up a Golden Globe nomination for writing the screenplay for the film Juno. The Chicago-born writer and blogger (real name Brook Busey-Hunt) spent a few years in Minnesota working as a stripper, which she parlayed into a blog and later a memoir titled Candy Girl: A Year in The Life of an Unlikely Stripper before moving to the bright lights of Hollywood. If you've read any of the articles, you already know that.

Juno, which is about a teenager's unplanned pregnancy, has been getting rave reviews from nearly every movie critic there is. But it also tells us a lot about supposedly liberal Hollywood's
attitude toward the subject of abortion. Are they as ambivalent about it as the rest of us are, or are they kowtowing to the Religious Right?

Being in Minnesota, we're getting plenty of articles about Cody in the local newspapers, magazines and websites. If there hadn't been a writers' strike, she'd be on every late-night TV show. In addition to all the screenplays Cody is working on and all the connections she's made (Steven Spielberg?), she's added a gig as columnist for Entertainment Weekly.

We're not here to be jealous of Diablo Cody's success. We've read her articles in City Pages, and found them to be original, funny and not as self-important as the rest of the paper is at times. Most of all, Cody is an inspiration to people who churn out poorly written blogs like this one.

But isn't Cody in danger of overexposure, personally and professionally? Hollywood, as we all know, is the kind of town that chews you up and spits you out. It can even take a toll on marriages, as Cody announced the breakup of hers on her website.

Only time will tell if Cody reaches the heights of Keillor, F. Scott Fitzgerald, Sinclair Lewis and other famous Minnesota authors. We're not putting that kind of pressure on her, are we?

Mitchell's List

Former Senator George Mitchell delivered his long-awaited (and long-dreaded in some quarters) report on the use of performance-enhancing substances in Major League Baseball. We've known for some time that this was happening. What we didn't know was who was allegedly using steroids and growth hormones for career purposes.

Wonder no more. Besides names that have come up in previous investigations (Barry Bonds and Mark McGwire), current players such as Roger Clemens (whose attorney disputes the inclusion), Andy Pettite and Miguel Tejada made Mitchell's list.

What's telling here is that, according to Mitchell, there would have been a lot more names on the list if only the players, their attorneys and the union that represents them had agreed to cooperate in the investigation. But with no subpoena powers, the former Senator must have felt fortunate to get as much information as he could.

Mitchell did not recommend any type of punishment for the players that were named in the report. He left that up to MLB commissioner Bud Selig, who said he's going to step up the drug testing (which was one of the recommendations) and decide on some kind of disclipinary action depending on the player. Provided, of course, that Selig reads the report first. All 409 pages of it.

Does this really change things in baseball? Probably not. Attendance went up at major league parks this past season, but TV ratings for the World Series dropped to record lows. You can't blame steroids for that. It just proves that we still want to see the long ball. And if the guys who hit and pitch them look more like Frankenstein monsters than normal human beings, so much the better.

The only question is what will happen to the record books. If Marion Jones is forced to give back her Olympic track medals and the NCAA takes away a university's national championship because of recruiting violations, Major League Baseball, if they're truly serious about cleaning up the sport, can put an eraser to a player's record and deny him admittance to the Hall of Fame. That's what you get for better athletic careers through chemistry.

"Those Who Cannot Remember The Past . . .": Did Paris Hilton Say That?

In October 1962, President John F. Kennedy announced on TV that the Soviet Union had, based on reconnaissance photos, been building nuclear missiles and bomber bases in Cuba, ninety miles away from the United States. The President ordered a blockade of Cuba, leading to a standoff that was thisclose to launching nuclear war. A week later, Soviet Premier Nikita Khruschev agreed to remove the bases. World destruction had been postponed.

In December 2007, White House Press Secretary Dana Perino goes on a National Public Radio show called Wait, Wait . . . Don't Tell Me and admitted that she didn't know anything about the Cuban Missile Crisis.

We assume Perino's lack of knowledge stems from the fact that she was born in 1972, according to Wikipedia. Had things turned out differently, the events of 9/11/01 would have been nothing compared to a nuclear war between the United States and the Soviet Union. Millions, not thousands, would have been dead

Of course, in Perino's world, JFK may have been the father of Senator Ted Kennedy of Massachusetts. But they're both Democrats, so they don't count, right? And the Soviet Union? Didn't JK Rowling write a Harry Potter book about that?

It's not news that the Bush administration is filled with people who keep getting themselves (and us) into trouble. That's why we have wars in Iraq, Afghanistan, and possibly Iran. That's also why civil liberties are being eroded in the wake of 9/11, stem cell research is stifled, climate change is ignored, and so on down the line.

What's also at work here is the dumbing down of American history. Budget cuts and "No Child Left Behind" have caused schools to cut back on teaching history, meaning that Jhonny and Jaine have something in common with Perino. They don't know much about the Cuban Missile Crisis, either.

So where have we been getting our history from these days? The Civil War, jazz and World War II have been covered by Ken Burns. Steven Spielberg did a movie about the Holocaust. David McCullough wrote books on John Adams and Harry Truman. Slavery was chronicled by Alex Haley. Doris Kearns Goodwin authored tomes on Abraham Lincoln and Franklin Roosevelt. You get the idea.

You would think that anyone who works in the White House would have a working knowledge of American history. Unfortunately, the man they work for has a tendency of saying "nucular" instead of nuclear, started a war based on false evidence of weapons of mass destruction (the current euphemism), and claims to be out of the loop on certain issues. It just rubs off.

TV's Endless Summer

Talks have broken off between the Writers Guild of America and the Alliance of Motion Picture and Television Producers (AMPTP). The sticking point is over future revenues from the Internet and any kind of new media to come. No new talks are planned. With the strike entering its second month, this has been the fallout:

• The TV season has, for all intents and purposes, been killed. Scripted shows have been (or will soon be) running out of episodes. Shows like "Cavemen" and "Bionic Woman" that didn't deserve a second chance will probably get one next fall, once the strike is settled. The networks are filling their schedules with reality shows (meaning "American Idol" will be number one by default), game shows and newsmagazines.
• The late-night talk shows have been in reruns since the strike began. Only one, Carson Daly, has gone back on without writers. The rest--Jay Leno, David Letterman, Conan O'Brien and Jimmy Kimmel--are paying their laid-off staffers out of their own pockets. One has to wonder how their absence (and that includes Jon Stewart, Stephen Colbert and "Saturday Night Live") is affecting the presidential campaign, given that some people have been getting their news from the late-night monologues.
• Speaking of politics, CBS had to cancel a debate between the Democratic candidates because they refused to cross picket lines. Writers from the news division, which covers radio and television, have voted to authorize a strike.
• The possibility that the longer the strike goes, the more likely it is that local stations will be pre-empting network programming for movies and syndicated reruns. Infomercials in prime time? Could happen.

Right now the writers, networks and movie studios don't care that you're suffering through reruns, reality and the lack of jokes about Oprah supporting Obama. There's something more important going on here, and it's going to affect every man, woman and child in Couch Potato Nation.

It's about survival.

Another Desert Showdown Averted?

The National Intelligence Estimate (NIE), a classified summary of 16 intelligence agencies' analysis, reports that Iran stopped its nuclear weapons program in 2003. Not only does this fly in the face of the war-mongering rhetoric the White House has been spewing out lately, but it seems to justify Tehran's long-held claim that they are using their nuclear program for civilian use.

President George W. Bush, whose own intelligence is sometimes questioned, isn't having any of it. He told a news conference Tuesday that nothing has changed between the two countries, and has called on the international community to continue its sanctions against Iran.

The President even claimed that the NIE said Iran could have a hidden system of weapons. Given that the report is mostly classified, we have no way of knowing whether the assertion is true or not.

The United States has had contentious relations with Iran ever since the Shah was replaced by ayatollahs, which led to 52 Americans held as hostages in their own embassy for 444 days. More recently, the concern is over a loose cannon of a president named Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, who has said the Holocaust never happened and wants to nuke Israel. He also considered the NIE report a victory for his country.

The NIE report makes President Bush look like a reckless fool, given his past statements that a nuclear Iran could lead to World War III. Now the chances of a war between the U.S. and Iran have decreased significantly. But that doesn't mean Bush and/or Vice President Dick Cheney won't find an excuse to attack Tehran, just like they did with Iraq., then stick the rest of the war on whomever succeeds them.

And you don't need an intelligence estimate to tell you that.

Apologies and Eulogies In The Morning

Don Imus returned to the airwaves Monday morning on New York's WABC-AM, broadcasting from a local theater. Imus spent 15 minutes apologizing for the umpteenth time for the racially insensitive (not to mention unfunny) remarks about the Rutgers women's basketball team, which got him fired from his previous jobs at CBS Radio and MSNBC.

Then he said: "The program is not going to change . . . Dick Cheney is still a war criminal. Hillary Clinton is still Satan. And I'm back on the radio."

Imus introduced his new cast, including Karith Foster and Tony Powell, who just happen to be African-American. In the two-and-a-half hours we saw, Foster contributed not much more than an FCC-friendly standup routine (which meant it wasn't all that funny), and Powell is the resident sports guy. Holdovers included Charles McCord (who demonstrated why you shouldn't do newscasts in front of a live studio audience--unless your name is Garrison Keillor) and a Bill Clinton impersonator, presumably there to tell us why Hillary is not Satan.

Some of Imus' guests who bailed on him during the controversy have chosen to forgive and forget. Appearing on Monday's show were presidential historian Doris Kearns Goodwin, political polar opposites (and married couple) James Carville and Mary Matalin, and Republican presidential candidate John McCain. The Arizona Senator (whom Imus says he's supporting--for now) appeared via phone to dodge Imus' persistent questions about whether he thinks gays should be in the military. It should be noted that Imus has had politicians from both parties on his show in the past, one of the few national radio hosts who still do that sort of thing.

In addition to WABC, the new "Imus In The Morning" is syndicated by Citadel Broadcasting's ABC Radio Networks to 17 stations. There is also a TV simulcast on RFD, a rural-oriented satellite channel whose programming is of little interest to city slickers. Fast-forwarding through the commercials, however, we noticed that Ralph Emery and Crook and Chase--who used to have shows on The Nashville Network before they dumped country and became Spike TV, the home of "CSI" reruns and Ultimate Fighting--are still on the air at RFD.

The circumstances that got Imus fired in the first place was supposed to lead to a national discussion of race relations in America, such as why African-Americans can use the N-word in normal conversation and white people can't, or the negative effects of rap music on black women. There was a discussion, confined mostly to Larry King's and Oprah Winfrey's shows, before the Imus story faded from the headlines. Then it was back to business as usual.

On the same day as Imus' return to radio, a memorial service was held in Miami for pro football player Sean Taylor, who was killed during a botched home invasion at the age of 24. While those who mourned Taylor painted a picture of a young man who had turned his life around, the news media, noting Taylor's past transgressions on and off the field, made it sound as though he had gotten what he deserved--which wasn't true. Also, because the suspects police picked up happened to be African-American, people seem to be shrugging this off as another example of black-on-black crime.

Don Imus may be back on the radio a presumably changed man, but Sean Taylor won't get another chance. The world hasn't changed that much.

The Elephant In The Room

The GOP You Tube debate, broadcast on CNN Wednesday night, was a bit more restrained in its use of citizens asking questions of the candidates than the one involving the Democrats. Most were straightforward, but some--including videos of guys waving rifles, Bibles and the Confederate flag--were on the scary side.

All the candidates who showed up--Mitt Romney, Rudy Giuliani, Fred Thompson, John McCain, Mike Huckabee, Ron Paul and two other guys who liked to wrap themselves in the flag--tried to answer the video questions as honestly as their spinmeisters would allow, but none gave the impression that they are ready to lead.


Is it any wonder why CNN (which bills itself as "The Most Trusted Name In News") is losing ground to the partisan hacks over at Fox News? One video questioner, openly gay retired Brigadier General Keith Kerr (who also happened to be in the audience. How convenient.) asked the candidates--white, male and presumably heterosexual--what they were going to do about the military's policy of "don't ask, don't tell". It turns out that Kerr works for Hillary Clinton's campaign. Apparently, fact-checking isn't CNN's strong suit. Oh, by the way, all the candidates said they supported the current policy.

For all the finger-pointing concerning the issues and general agreement that the war in Iraq is going well (buying into the White House propaganda), the Republican candidates refused to acknowledge the elephant in the room (so to speak): President Bush's and Vice-President Dick Cheney's record, and why folks don't want to make the mistake of voting for someone like them a third time. Couldn't CNN have found anyone with a video question about that?