David Letterman Calls It a Late Night

David Letterman during an interview on the Late Show in New York City on June 13, 2011. DoD photo by Mass Communication Specialist 1st Class Chad J. McNeeley/Released) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

David Letterman has been gracing America's bedroom TVs for over three decades.  That covers two shows, two networks and five Presidents of the United States.  He's lasted longer than Johnny Carson, who even now is still considered the benchmark for late night talk show hosts.

At age 66, the man who brought "Stupid Pet Tricks", top ten lists, Larry "Bud" Melman, Paul Shaffer and even his mother into the national spotlight is calling it a career.  Letterman announced his retirement during a taping of his CBS "Late Show" Thursday.  It won't actually take place until his contract is up in 2015, but he has now entered Mariano Rivera and Derek Jeter territory.  That is, he's reached the Long Goodbye.

At least Letterman is leaving on his own terms.  Jay Leno, his former rival at NBC who famously screwed him out of being Carson's successor on the "Tonight Show" two decades earlier (which is how he ended up at CBS in the first place), also had a long goodbye when the network replaced him with Jimmy Fallon.  When the time came for Leno's final show, he looked like a man who was being bum-rushed out of a job by people who couldn't wait to see him leave.

Fallon, to the delight of NBC, has done pretty well so far as "Tonight Show" host, even though he still couldn't deliver a monologue as if his life depended on it.  Even some of Leno's old audience, who had been expected to switch to Letterman, has stuck around.

Now the speculation over who would replace Dave can begin.  Unlike NBC, CBS has no obvious candidates waiting in the wings.  Stephen Colbert and Jon Stewart, the two names most often mentioned, are under contract to Comedy Central.  Ellen DeGeneres may have killed it at the Oscars (or put people to sleep), but she's 56 and already has a daytime talk show.  Conan O'Brien has already tried and failed at 11:30 (no thanks to NBC and Leno).  Craig Ferguson, whose show follows Letterman on CBS, might be too subtle for an earlier audience.  Chelsea Handler might seem too raunchy for network TV.

Instead of all those guys, CBS should hire someone who's around Fallon's age and isn't currently known to the general public.  This person (regardless of race or gender) should be willing to take chances with the conventions of TV and social media, have a razor-sharp wit, connect with people from all walks of life and not be afraid to act like a jerk every once in awhile.  And this person has to be funny. In other words, CBS needs to hire someone like a David Letterman for this century.

David Letterman has been there through the good times and the bad, bantering with the likes of politicians and Lady Gaga while baring his soul during national and personal crisis.  Sure, he can be prickly at times and can still harbor a grudge over not getting the "Tonight Show" gig.  And there are some who claim he was a lot better during the "Late Night" years at NBC.  But he's been an influence in the comedy of today and in the times we live in.  Enjoy him now before he says goodbye for good.

UPDATE:  The speculation has ended, and it took less than a week.  CBS has named Colbert to replace Letterman in late night, starting sometime in 2015.  The only question is, what version of Colbert is CBS going to get?  The Bill O'Reilly-type conservative blowhard he's been playing for nearly a decade on "The Colbert Report"?  Or is he going to be himself, which carries its own set of risks for a risk-averse network?  We'll see.