The Return of Tiger Woods. Alert The Media.

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Tiger Woods has decided to go back to doing what he does best, which is getting on the golf course and intimidate the hell out of everyone he plays.

In one of those tightly-controlled statements he's become famous for, Woods will mark his return to the pro golf tour by entering The Masters, the one place in the world where golf is the main topic of conversation, TV announcers sing the praises of Augusta National--or else, and not a word about the club's discriminatory practices or how many women Woods allegedly slept with.  He has won here four times, the last being in 2005.

Oh yes, Woods' statement also said that he's still working on getting back together with wife Elin, and that he'll remain in treatment for the foreseeable future.

Now we're back to two tours--the Tiger Woods tour, where he plays anywhere he wants as long as it's close to a major, and the PGA Tour for everybody else.

Woods' return is great news for the PGA Tour, the TV networks and his remaining sponsors.  It's not so great for the other players on the tour, who have been struggling to get any kind of recognition as long as Tiger's around.  For instance, did you know that Ernie Els, a world-class golfer in his own right, won the Doral event near Miami last weekend?

It would be a remarkable feat for Woods to win the Masters after being away for so long, but we don't think that's going to happen.  He'll be too busy shaking the rust off his game.  No, the most important accomplishment he can take from Augusta is that he's playing golf again.  But what happens when he leaves that protective cocoon?  Whether anyone will remain in awe of him after all those bimbo eruptions is another matter entirely.