Emmy Or No Emmy

When the 60th Primetime Emmy Awards began Sunday night after a nice tribute by Oprah Winfrey, the five nominees for best reality show host--Tom Bergeron, Jeff Probst, Howie Mandel, Ryan Seacrest and Heidi Klum--just stood onstage and babbled for what seemed like an eternity, admitting that they really hadn't prepared an opening. Then two of the male nominees proceeded to rip away Klum's tuxedo, revealing a negligee.

Aren't you glad the writers' strike is over?

As for the real business of the evening, the HBO miniseries John Adams won a record 13 Emmys--eight in the previously held Creative Arts awards, and five in the prime time telecast--including outstanding miniseries.

The drama categories went to Brian Cranston for AMC's Breaking Bad as Best Actor, Glenn Close for FX's Damages as Best Actress, and Mad Men for Best Drama.

NBC's 30 Rock won seven Emmys, including two for Tina Fey for writing and for Best Actress, one for Alec Baldwin as Best Actor, and one for Outstanding Comedy.

In one of Fey's acceptance speeches, she told the audience where to find the low-rated 30 Rock in various forms of media, including the show's regular Thursday night slot on NBC. ABC, the network that televised this year's Emmys, must not have been amused.

The Daily Show and The Colbert Report, usually running in tandem on Comedy Central, did the same thing in the comedy/variety category. Colbert won for writing, while Daily Show took home an Emmy for best overall.

It was also a night for nostalgia, with salutes to classic TV shows such as Seinfeld, Rowan & Martin's Laugh-In, and The Mary Tyler Moore Show. Tom Smothers got a writing award for The Smothers Brothers Comedy Hour--40 years late (Presenter Steve Martin explained that Smothers originally left his name off when the show's staff won the Emmy, so as to not hurt the then-controversial show's chances). And Don Rickles, still delivering comedic insults at 82, was honored for the HBO special "Mr. Warmth: The Don Rickles Project".

But the Emmy are still capable of doling out questionable awards such as the one Louis J. Horvitz won for directing this year's Academy Awards telecast. Horvitz just happened to be directing this year's Emmy telecast, and made his acceptance speech from the control room. How lame is that?

Oh yes, we did promise to tell you who won for best reality show host. But first, we should tell you that The Amazing Race won the Emmy for outstanding reality-competition show for the sixth straight year. And that Jimmy Kimmel, spoofing the conventions of reality shows, made the audience wait until after the commercial break to reveal the winner.

Get on with it!

OK, if you insist. The award went to Jeff Probst of Survivor.

Now do you understand why the people who make TV either don't own a set, or are too busy to watch it? They're hoping we don't return the favor.