Scooped At The Checkout Aisle

It took an admission from former Democratic presidential candidate John Edwards, in an ABC interview, that he had an affair with one of his campaign staffers to spring the national media into a story they'd been sitting on for quite awhile.

The woman in question, Rielle Hunter, worked in Edwards' campaign as a video producer in 2006, in spite of her lack of experience. (Apparently, in this case, being attractive to a presidential candidate was all the experience she needed) She allegedly got together with Edwards, lived in one of his houses for awhile, and possibly had a child together (though neither party will submit to a paternity test) before they broke up.

One reason why the media held back on the story was that they didn't want to be insensitive louts when you realize that Elizabeth Edwards, John's wife of 31 years, has been battling cancer almost since the end of the 2004 presidential election. At that time, her husband was a vice-presidential running mate with Senator John Kerry, who had just lost to George W. Bush's drive for a second White House term..

The other reason is the National Enquirer, the supermarket tabloid that has been on this story for months. The legitimate media (whatever that means these days) don't like to admit that they've been scooped by a publication that breathlessly reports on Oprah Winfrey's weight gain, or Dr. Phil's marital problems, or Lindsay Lohan's night on the town.

This isn't the first time the Enquirer broke stories on politicians who failed to keep their penises in check. Remember Gary Hart and Bill Clinton? Hart had to drop out of the 1988 presidential race after a photo of him and a blonde on a yacht was published. As for the former president, well, what doesn't kill him only makes him stronger.

(At this point, we should tell you that we here at Bludog Chronicle are longtime readers of the Enquirer. Nobody does it better when it comes to junk food journalism, which should be taken with a grain of salt. Although sometimes, their hypocritical moralism in reporting is baffling.)

So where does this leave John Edwards? He dropped out of the presidential sweepstakes months ago, throwing his support to Senator Barack Obama. The Democratic Party won't have anything to do with him right now. Most of all, Edwards has not only let down his wife and family, but also those who have worked for him during the campaign, those who voted for him during the primaries, and those who believed he was a worthy alternative to Obama and Hillary Clinton. He's become just another politician who can't keep it in his pants. And in this country, people can't handle that.