Ventura Decides He Won't Be Senator Turnbuckle

Former Minnesota Governor Jesse Ventura milked his appearance on CNN's Larry King Live for all it was worth Monday, keeping the audience in suspense about whether he'd run for the U.S. Senate as an independent. Then the answer came. No, Ventura said, he would not run unless God told him to do it. And unlike certain politicians, Ventura's no churchgoer.

Apparently, God must not have returned Ventura's call because his political adviser Dean Barkley (who has been driving a bus until now) is running instead. Barkley has had a little experience in the Senate, having been appointed to the job by then-Governor Ventura in the wake of the plane crash that took the life of Senator Paul Wellstone in 2002.

Ventura said he made his decision based on what a Senate campaign would do to his family. He's still seething over a 2002 report that claimed his son had a wild party inside the Governor's mansion. He hasn't talked to the Minnesota media since. Also, he lives most of the year in Mexico, which would create problems when it comes to residency requirements.

If Ventura had run, he would have found that being a senator is even more demanding than running a state. As an independent, he'd be isolated in a sea of Democrats and Republicans. And he'd add the national media to his list of jackals, But he'd still be welcome on Larry King.

Also, Ventura would have found (if he didn't know this already) that not much gets done in Congress unless they roll over and play dead for President Bush. That's why we have wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, and why the telecoms can't be sued for government wiretaps on American citizens, among other things. Ventura would have a tough time getting anyone to chair hearings on what really happened on September 11, 2001.

Republican incumbent Norm Coleman has a big lead in most polls over Ventura and Democratic-Farmer-Labor challenger Al Franken, no matter who is in the running. The DFL is so concerned over Franken's losing ground that Priscilla Lord Faris, daughter of former Federal judge Miles Lord, is running against him in the primary.

We've seen Franken's latest TV ad, in which he tells us he'd make sure elected officials don't resurface as lobbyists if we'd only vote for him. If this Senate thing doesn't work out, Franken has a future as the next Michael Moore.

As for Coleman, his new ad mentions that he helped return NHL hockey to Minnesota. That's true. Except he was the Democratic mayor of St. Paul at the time.

While Jesse Ventura chills out on the beaches of Baja California, counting the money he made from his latest book, his supporters (and detractors) will be left wondering what might have been.