The Hunger Games (film) (Photo credit: Wikipedia) |
Never underestimate the billionaire real estate mogul who gamed the political system and won the White House with a plan to make America great again. Even if he is a rude and crude individual who promised to drain the swamp, only to restock it with other billionaires and retired generals.
If you're Hillary Clinton, never assume the keys to the kingdom will be handed to you, even though you won three million votes more than the other guy. Never assume that Bernie Sanders supporters would automatically come rushing to your side once he quit the race. And never assume the Russians or some hacker had anything to do with your defeat.
If you're the mainstream news media and you're still wondering why the billionaire real estate mogul got elected, look in the mirror. You gave this man so much free airtime that he didn't have to spend a dime on political advertising. Also, if you're one of those who bemoan the rise of fake news, don't be surprised if extreme conservatives complain that the MSN is capable of making stuff up too.
If you live in Flint, Michigan or anyplace else where fracking is a problem, don't drink the water.
If you live in North Carolina, make sure you know where your bathroom is. And best of luck to the new Democratic governor, who had some of his powers stripped by the outgoing GOP governor.
If you live in places like Aleppo, Belgium, Orlando, or anywhere else terrorists and war struck this year, you have our deepest sympathies. And that's all you're going to get.
If your name is Merrick Garland, you might as well forget about that Supreme Court nomination.
If you live in North Dakota and you have successfully protested against the construction of an oil pipeline that would go through sacred grounds, you know darn well that treaties are made to be broken.
If you are an African-American male, your chances of surviving an encounter with the police are about the same as the likelihood of officers getting convicted.
If you're British and you voted against your country remaining in the European Union, be careful what you wish for.
If you're President Barack Obama, you must be looking forward to being a private citizen again.
If you're Garrison Keillor, you should be taking it easy and writing books instead of reliving the past on cruise ships. We hear the new "A Prairie Home Companion" is doing well, even if fewer radio stations are running the program.
If you're bothered by all the movies and TV shows that imagine dystopian societies, maybe they're trying to tell us something.
The Grim Reaper was the biggest pop star of 2016, escorting several music legends to their final exits. Prince, David Bowie, Glenn Frey, Merle Haggard, Leon Russell, Bobby Vee, Natalie Cole, Leonard Cohen and George Michael. As Jim Morrison--who checked out at age 27--once put it: "No one here gets out alive". Here are some of the other notables the Reaper made visits to:
Antonin Scalia, Nancy Reagan, Morley Safer, Muhammad Ali, Wendell Anderson, Fidel Castro, John Glenn, Zsa Zsa Gabor, Alan Thicke, Ron Glass, Florence Henderson, Gwen Ifill, Robert Vaughn, Janet Reno, Tom Hayden, Agnes Nixon, Shimon Peres, Edward Albee, Phyllis Schlafly, Gene Wilder, Garry Marshall, Elie Wiesel, Alan Young, Janet Waldo, Doris Roberts, Patty Duke. Garry Shandling, Larry Drake, Keith Emerson, George Martin, Pat Conroy, Harper Lee, Boutros Boutros-Ghali, Vanity, Abe Vigoda, Dan Haggerty, Alan Rickman, Rene Angelil, Carrie Fisher, Debbie Reynolds.
If you're wondering whether 2017 will be better or worse than 2016, you're not the only one.